Unusual - Comics - volume 1- chapter 7 - page 02
COMMENTS (THANKS ;D):
In panel three the 'of' in "wouldn't call that singer of fat" should be before the call or not there at all.
In the last panel in the square it would be "she was the one who said" instead of 'spoke'
Posted @ November 15th, 2013, 11:57 pm
@AshFisher: thaaanks a lot for the help o/ *u*
Posted @ November 16th, 2013, 11:32 am
Wow, looking forward to how this plan works out hahaha.
Also I love the level of detail, I mean check out those earbuds on those headphones. :D
On another note, I think you meant the third panel to read more like this:
"But I need your help! I won't be able to make it without you!!
And...And...if you hadn't have entered me into this, I wouldn't be here and wouldn't have called that singer fat!"
I feel bad for nit picking, since I know English isn't yours or your translator's first language. Though kudos for making so few mistakes.
(I struggle on anything past a couple of greetings in French and Spanish lol, so I can't imagine trying to make a comic in another language.) :)
Posted @ November 16th, 2013, 6:38 pm
Yay! New pages :) Jacque has quite the plan cooked up! Will it work or will Daniel still figure her out? Is Akiane actually going to help her? Haha can't wait to find out!
Here's some suggestions:
Panel 1: 'So... I can't pretend to be a fan! I can't say things I don't agree with just to please others so I need your help.'
I'm a little confused does the 'fat' comment come right after her ask for help? It doesn't seem to follow what Jaque just said. 'How well 'fat?' doesn't make sense but I'm not sure what she is trying to say so I don't have a good suggestion.
Panel 2: 'So you want to cheat and for me to help you?'
Panel 3: 'I won't be able to make it...' (instead of don't)
'...and wouldn't have called that singer fat'
'Hey! Now it's all my fault?'
'How can I help you win... I mean... lose?'
Panel 5: This makes sense the way it is but might be less awkward if you put it as:
'You tell me how to answer like a fan would, and I'll use it as my response.'
Panel 6: 'she was the one who said it."
Posted @ November 16th, 2013, 11:48 pm
@R.I.P: THANKS A LOT!
It is really hard to me, because i am pretty bad in english D,:
Posted @ November 23rd, 2013, 5:33 pm
@callirain: hohohoh! i dont know! u_u.... wait... i know... @-@ but... i cant say it. =P
well... ype! right after her ask for help.
sorry if i did something confuse D:
Posted @ November 23rd, 2013, 5:53 pm